SojournKids

Negotiating with Your Kids

UncategorizedJared KennedyComment

“How do you allow children to negotiate with adults, without allowing them to become obnoxious little princes and princesses who feel the kingdom is entitled to them?” That’s the big question this post seeks to explore.  Here is a helpful excerpt about how to not negotiate by teaching your kids the word "No":

One of the, if not the, most important things that a parent can teach a child is the word NO.  “No means No” is a pretty good motto for the parent of a toddler, and again as a parent of a teenager (who often act like toddlers).

You want to say “Yes,” but you know better, so you put on a strong front and declare, “No, you can’t.  I’m sorry.”

“Why not, Mommy?” says your beautiful child who you love more than life itself.  You can feel the tension rising fast.  And this is the moment of truth.  What do you do?  How about something like this:

“No – because it’s not safe, and I love you too much to let you get hurt.”

“No – because you are not quite old enough yet, but later you will get to do it.”

“No – because it’s not healthy for you, and I want you to be healthy and happy.”

“No – because that’s not a good use of our money.”

“No – because I love you too much to let you make that grave mistake.”

Notice that each response has a reason attached to it.  It’s not an extreme statement.  You don’t say, “No – because I said so.”  Or “No, because I’m the Dad and you’re the child.” The truth is that just “No” is better than those two lousy reasons.

HT: Doug Wolter